Being an undiagnosed autistic has many challenges.
When you compare your reactions to things with other people’s, you feel like you’re getting it wrong. When other people take things in their stride, and your brain feels like it’s expanding inside your skull to the point you can’t think, then you feel like you’re overreacting.
And then there’s the gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a useful term, named after an old film where Ingrid Bergman is psychologically abused. Her abuser tells her that her memories are false, he questions her experience of her environment, he denies that things she remembers happening, have happened.
The result is that she ends up questioning her own perception of reality. She doubts her own memory. She doubts her sanity. She cannot trust that what she thinks is her lived experience is true.
Being an undiagnosed autistic can feel like the whole world is gaslighting you. From being…
1. I would learn everything I could about the spectrum conditions through reputable, well-honored sources; and then readily forget everything I knew and recognize my daughter is a unique individual with exact perfection and a glorious light.
2. I would acknowledge each and every way my daughter’s actions reflect a behavior that in some way makes me believe that I am affected. What is it that she is doing that is causing discomfort to me, would be a question I would demolish, and whole-heartedly embrace the conclusion that I am the only one choosing to be in a state of discomfort based on someone else’s reactions and actions. And in truth my reactions have a direct effect on everyone about me. My ‘job’ as a parent, if I were to assign an exact ‘role’ and ‘duty,’ would be to reflect back…
1) We are deep philosophical thinkers and writers; gifted in the sense of our level of thinking. Perhaps poets, professors, authors, or avid readers of nonfictional genre. I don’t believe you can have Aspergers without being highly-intelligent by mainstream standards. Perhaps that is part of the issue at hand, the extreme intelligence leading to an over-active mind and high anxiety. We see things at multiple levels, including our own place in the world and our own thinking processes. We analyze our existence, the meaning of life, the meaning of everything continually. We are serious and matter-of-fact. Nothing is taken for granted, simplified, or easy. Everything is complex.
2) We are innocent, naive, and honest. Do we lie? Yes. Do we like to lie? No. Things that are hard for us to understand: manipulation, disloyalty, vindictive behavior, and retaliation. Are we easily fooled and conned, particularly before we…
Here’s my list, in all it’s glory. It is highly possible and probable that some of the Do’s will be mirror opposites in the Don’ts, never mind, it’s ok to do that. Let’s get the non-beliefs out of the way. Oh I am open to discussing these at any point prior to posting the bigger individual post on each one. I have already covered A1 and B1, will be working on more shortly, in between random thoughts on other subjects or interests and I will add to the lists as I think about them.
A) I do not:believe:
in god, a creator or the bible.
in feminism. Feminism has kill male/female relationships
that motherhood and careers can be combined successfully.
there is anything wrong with same sex parenting
B) I do believe:
sexuality is genetic or at least have an Epigenetic Key
believe Aspergers/Autism is an evolutionary advancement not a disorder
in male head of household relationships
in the spirit world
People are responsible for where they are in life. It is about choices.
there are no rights and wrongs almost everything is perception.
there is no such thing as a democracy, it is idealism and non-functional.
the highest ranking people in the world are mostly the most corrupt.
I believe that if you are unable to bring yourself to orgasm, how the hell can you expect your partner to. I believe most women fake orgasm. I think women, because they have never learnt to pleasure themselves, “fall in love”, get aroused but have no experience in achieving full sexual pleasure and they get frustrated and turn off sex or go to the next guy, fall in love, get aroused , same cycle. For your own sake, learn to pleasure your body, and do it often, it is very healthy .